Sunday, December 20, 2009

Day Twenty! Doctor Who Adventure Calendar

If we could change one thing about Christmas what would it be? Busy shops? The fact that we don't really like mince pies? No! It would be the standard of jokes you get in Christmas crackers. To combat this and to spread a little festive cheer we're providing a load of Doctor Who related jokes for you to memorise and share...
Thanks to everyone who sent in their gags... sorry there are a few groaners... But Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a few terrible jokes...
The Doctor Who web team came up with these:

Q: Did you know that chefs all over the world are worried about a shortage of herbs over Christmas?
A: It's because many people are predicting we'll see The End of Thyme. - This one is well funny.
Q: Have you heard that Sigma, the Master and the Abzorbaloff are making a new movie?
A: It's called The Ood, The Bad and The Ugly. - Okay... not so funny.
Q: Who is the scariest Time Lord?
A: Doctor Boo! - Definitely not funny. Well, maybe for kids!

And thanks to everyone who sent these in...
Q: What is the Cult of Skaro's favourite food?
A: Darlick bread! - Makes sense, alright.
Q: Why do Judoon officers go around in threes?
A: One reads, one writes, and the third keeps an eye on those two dangerous intellectuals! - My fav so far. Yep, it's bloody true!
Q: Why do Daleks like apples?
A: Because an apple a day keeps the Doctor away! - A tad predictable.
Q: How does a Dalek keep its skin soft?
A: Exfoliate! Exfoliate! - Okay... a bit old, but still funny (ish).
Q: Why did the Dalek apply for a job in pest control?
A: He liked the job description - "Exterminate! Exterminate!" - This is a good 'un! :)
Q: What do you call an angry Dalek creator?
A: Davcross - *rolls eyes*
Q: Hey, did you know that Daleks have special make-up for their eyestalks?
A: Yeah, they call it Ma-Skaro! - Not that funny, but brilliant.
Q: What happened when Father Christmas decided to playfully belt my friends and me with a rubber hatchet?
A: The Claus Soft-Axed Us (The Claws of Axos!) - Okay...
Q: What happened when a stupid pub devoured my friends and me?
A: The Dumb Inn Ate Us (The Dominators!) - Not bad, not bad.
Q: What happened when a popular music publication went global?
A: It became The NME of The World (The Enemy of . . . oh, you get the picture!) - Good.
Q: Why does the Doctor regularly visit the dentist?
A: Because he doesn't want to lose his K9! - A bit lame?!
Q. What do you get if you cross Dizzee Rascal and Doctor Who?
A: The first of the Grime Lords! - Alright!
Q: What do you call a frightened Time Lord?
A: A Gallifreydee cat! - Okay. Not bad. Well... maybe... nevermind.
The Doctor: I say, I say, I say, K-9's been damaged on a nearby star.
Sarah Jane: Sirius?
The Doctor: No, he'll be fine. - Ahah! This one cracked me up :D
A Dalek went to the job centre looking for a job, but in the end he didn't apply for any because there wasn't any temporal-shift work... - True, true. Good!!
And finally, it wouldn't be a collection of Doctor Who related jokes without this antique and much-loved gag...
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Doctor who?
You said it! - A bloody classic.

Thanks to everyone who sent in their jokes, and in particular....
Philip, Adam, Steve, Tommy, Hannah, Kate, John, Karan, Harvey, Lewis, Emily, Hannah, Aisling, James, Will, Luke, Rebecca, Aisha, Anoushka, Sarah, Dave, Steven, Harry, Amber, Brodie, Melanie, Hannah-Rose, Charlotte, Stephen, Bella, Nathan, Sam, Matt, Kevin, Izzy, Hannah and James.

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